Goofin
by GhostiesAndHoes
Summary: Read Goofy's story of how he became a powerful drug lord. How he went from a clown nobody knew to the most powerful kingpin in all of new york. These are not the cute characters you once knew...They're mature and they say bad words.
1. Chapter 1: How it all started

Goofy sat in his office with nothing but his cigarette lighting his face. He was thinking of all it took for him to get to this point. He'd be lying to himself if he said he remembered it fondly. But there was something about that rush of life he felt after each deal, each time he picked up his special bag he felt alive. Goofy was the best drug dealer in all of New York City.

They originally called him goofy because of his carefree silly personality, but his drugs were so good that over time it changed. People using his product were often referred to as "acting goofy" or "goofin", this made it something that he was proud of. A brand was built and it didn't take long for him to become popular.

**4 years ago**

Goofy was getting ready to go to work. After staying in Mickey Mouse's strip club he got tired of the stench of alcohol in his clothes so he moved out and decided to settle in a small apartment on the lower east side of Manhattan. Max had gone off to university and his mom didn't stick around after that. At first the repetitiveness of his day job was reassuring, nothing was certain when he was living with Mickey, or Mick as he liked to be called now. But now the cycle of eat sleep work repeat wasn't so exciting.

As he step foot on the subway he recognised a familiar face, it was Daisy Duck.

"Daisy? Is that you?" he said in shock

"Oh hey goofball, it's been years, how are you?" she replied with a smile.

Goofy didn't really know how to respond. He knows he should say he's doing fine, to maintain the facade of being happy.

"I'm doing.. swell. What about you?" he let out calmly.

"I've been ok. I'm working at the university Max goes to, I always ask how you are if I see him." her smile unbreakable.

Goofy felt something other than sorrow for almost a second.

"I don't speak to him that often but he's never mentioned you work there. I was hoping to meet hi-" the conductor's loud muffled voice interrupted his sentence, Daisy politely said goodbye and got off.

Goofy hated this. The awkward feeling of knowing someone but not being able to express himself in a way that he was happy with. He hated the small talk and how he could never just say what he was thinking. Once a clown, always a clown he thought to himself.

Goofy got to work, said hi to his coworkers, sat in his cubicle and stared at his computer. Goofy worked for a company called INJ enterprises. He was a data analyst, he researched past trends in marketing and sought to find possible new trends. While he worked he listened to heavy metal and lusted after Brenda his manager. She worked in the cubicle four feet away from him. Time passed and it was time for him to go home. He turned off his computer, he stood up said goodbye to his coworkers and left. On his walk home he dropped his phone, cracking the screen, a passerby bumped into him and shouted "watch where you're going asshole!"

Goofy replied "sorry hyuguk"

The man had already started walking away but as he heard Goofy say that he stopped and turned.

"What did you say? Do you know who I am you lil bitch?" he shouted.

"No I'm sorry, I didn't mean it offensively." Goofy said.

"It sounds like you think i'm playin with you" he insulted.

Goofy's voice often sounded mocking when he was scared.

"Oh please don't hurt me." he whimpered.

The man pulled out a gun and aimed it at Goofy's head.

"Say something stupid again, I dare you motherfucker" he taunted.

There's nothing Goofy could do, this man was going to kill him. He tightened his lips, looked towards the ground and stayed silent. The man walked away and chuckled to himself. Goofy was weak and he hated it.

The next day goofy called in sick to work. The incident yesterday made him angry. He wanted to see his old friend. He got a taxi to Brooklyn and went inside Mick's Beer & Tits. Mick was sitting at the counter with papers in his hand looking at them intently.

"We're not open till 9pm, for some reason that sign still says 9am to 9pm, we're not allowed to do that because of what happened to that lil kid or whatever." he remarked without looking up.

"Oh so no free lap dances for me pall?" goofy said smiling.

Mick was stunned.

"GOOFY? Oh how long has it been? The girls missed you, except Minnie of course that bitch."

Mick looked genuinely happy to see him. It felt nice to be accepted.

"Y'know we never did find anyone that could clean the poles as good as you, but anyway what's up?" said Mick.

Goofy told him the story of yesterday.

"I just want to do something different. Something that makes me feel powerful." he said quietly.

"Awh don't say that, you're more powerful than you can hyucking imagine bud" Mick laughed.

They fell to silence for a few seconds.

Mick piped up "I have a job that you might be interested in. It's a bit different from the previous ones but the club could use the money."

"What is it?"

"Well all you need to do is pick up some deliveries for us. I think the guy lives near you actually, down in Manhattan." he said.

"Mickey are you using again?" Goofy asked.

"No! I'm selling. It's way easier and way more exciting."

"I don't know Mick. I'm not a risk taker like you" Goofy said.

"Why don't you think about it and come back to me." Mick stared down at the papers.

"Ok see you later friend." Goofy said softly.

Goofy had a lot to think about. He made his way home and laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. What else was he going to do? Why live a boring life with no excitement when he could be excited every day? Goofy knew what had to be done.

Author's note: If you want more tell me and i'll make some. add my instagram:slutty_puttyy for more Goofs


	2. Chapter 2

Goofy was on his way to do the job Mick gave him. He didn't plan on working for Mick for long, just long enough that he could buy a better apartment. Goofy honestly just liked having a purpose again. Since everyone started drifting off on their own he felt lost. He was also actually lost, Mick's directions said that is was 267 rosewood street but the numbers stopped at 264. The only other building was a large community theater. So he figured it'd be best to go in there and ask.

"I'm uh looking for 267 rosewood" he asked  
The actress at the who was knee deep in script papers muttered something and then looked at Goofy.  
"The numbers stop at 264" he continued  
She pulled her blue hair behind her ear. She stared intently at Goofy. Her facial features cold and unmoving.  
"I'm gonna uh j-just leave"  
"No Monsieur. I didn't expect Mickey's delivery guy to be you." She finally let out. A little bit of the awkwardness inside Goofy leaked out into the room as they stood there in a few more seconds of silence.  
"Oh. You're the connect? I'm surprised?" He said foolishly.  
She gave a stern frown.  
"Oh because I'm a girl? I see. Well I'm one of the biggest kingpins- or should I say queenpin in all of New York. I run this city and all its people. If I were more cruel I'd force you to bow" her improvised high pitched french accent made it hard to take her seriously.  
"I'm sorry ma'am. Forgive me." Goofy bowed his head.  
Her face lit up at the gesture.  
"Hahaha you know a community theater is the best place to sell drugs. Since we're all actors the cops can't tell if we're high or if it's part of our method. Also most of us ARE junkies but that's besides the point. Anyway. Let me get your package." She explained then she gestured to one of the stage hands and they scurried off.  
"What's your name delivery guy?"  
"Goofy. It's quite silly actually." He said reluctantly.  
She let out a loud laugh.  
"You're ok Goofy. If you survive a month I might even like you." She said casually.

After he got the package he left. It didn't exactly feel like a major drug deal but there's was now 2kgs of cocaine in his bag.

He arrived at Mick's told him what happened, and delivered the bag. Mick was holding it and staring.  
"You're saying that username: KillerBoner228 is a girl? That's... Interesting. I was wondering why when I said ' don't be a bitch ' she said ' I am one ' but you got the stuff anyway. Good job"  
Goofy didn't really know what to say now. He stood there silently for a second. They never actually agreed on payment.  
"So" he said.  
"Oh you don't get paid yet. Not until I've sold all this coke. First I have to cut it so that there's more of it to sell, then I have to five it to my girls. Once they sell I have to pay them, then I should of made about $27k you get 7k purely because I like flat numbers." Mick explained.  
Goofy was at a loss for words. He couldn't believe it. He quickly did the math in his head and realized that if he did the job two more times he'd be able to pay off all his debt.  
"How long does all that take then Mick?" He said excitedly.  
"Oh. Well the club's been slowing up recently with summer coming around. So about two days."  
TWO DAYS? GOOFY COULD MAKE THIS MUCH MONEY EVERY TWO DAYS?  
Unbelievable.


	3. Chapter 3

*3 months later*  
Goofy was at the community theatre again.  
Rox the actress was now one of his best friends. She helped him whenever he wanted to learn more about the business and he tried to be funny whenever he could. They could talk for hours about something so irrelevant but enjoy their time together.

"Hey Goof. I have a question. Why did you keep this job? Other than the pay?" She asked.  
"Well I like the company, I stand by it's values and it's way more exciting than anything I've ever done before." He chuckled.  
Rox let out a little giggle. She gazed out to the rows of empty seats as she puffed her cigarette. Goofy could tell there's something on her mind.  
"Something you wanna tell me Rox?"  
She didn't move, she hated when he did that. Goofy was good at reading people, he had a gift.  
Rox sighed "There was a change in management, I'm gonna run out of coke soon."  
Goofy wasn't surprised. He knew that things were going too well lately.  
"Oh well. I'm more of a Pepsi guy anyway."  
That was a lie told for the purpose of comedy.  
"Would you stick around if there's no more product?" She asked.  
"Of course. I'm one of the three people that come to your shows." He said confidently.  
"Well actually there's another job I'm thinking of doing. We'll be cooking meth for the rednecks and also growing shrooms and weed for the hipsters and teens" she proposed.  
"You want me to come with you? I don't know if I could leave Mick." Goofy replied.  
"Well if you stay it'll be a few months before he finds another connect. I'm not saying you have to come with me, just think about it." She looked in his eyes, staring directly at his soul.  
"Give me a day. I'll give you an answer tomorrow."  
Goofy got up to leave, Rox's eyes lingered a little longer on her socially awkward friend.  
"You want a reason to live right Goof? I'm giving you one." She said as she hopped off the stage.

Goofy was unlocking his brand new Tesla. He got inside and as the autopilot drove him home he was thinking about Rox's offer. She was the reason he had made all this money in the first place. He was able to pay off Max's student loans. It had gotten to the point where he made so much money he didn't know what to do with it and all he did was deliver coke. Maybe it was time to stop, he was running out of ideas to spend the money on. His bank was also getting suspicious, he can only say he inherited money so many times.

Goofy arrived at his house. He sat down on his sofa and turned on the TV. He let out a sigh and started to fall asleep. Suddenly he got a call from Mick.  
"Hey Mick."  
"Hey goof. Rox told you the news?"  
"Yeah. What are you gonna do next?"  
"I dunno. I'm probably gonna start another club. Maybe call it Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse"  
"That's a shitty name Mick"  
"Haha I think it has a cute ring to it. We've made a lot of money together Goof. I'll miss you."  
"What do you mean?"  
"You have to go with Rox. You're definitely not gonna stay here."  
"What if I like it here?"  
"Don't lie to yourself. You've never been happy here. Go with her. The job is in Albany, It's not that far. "  
"Ok. I'll still come to visit for the cheap beer and the cheaper girls though."  
"Of course. Maybe we'll even get you to do a stand up set again. "  
"No chance in hell Mickey."  
"See you later Goof."  
"See you later Mick."  
He ended the call.

The next day Goofy tried to call Max but he didn't answer, he left a voicemail telling him the new address in case he wanted to visit. Goofy knew he wasn't going to. He set off on the road with Rox to Albany. Albany was only an hour away from the city but their new base was about at the edge of Albany.  
"Aren't you excited?" Rox asked as they got in the car.  
"Of course. Just a little worried about Max and Mick." He responded.  
"They'll be fine. They both know how to look after themselves." She reassured him.  
They set off on the road listening to heavy metal and playing games on the road. It was the most fun either of them had in their lives. Somehow they ended up listening to 80s songs and making up dance moves for them. Goofy was laughing so hard that he couldn't breathe.

Once they got to the new base they unloaded their bags and looked for their rooms. A few of the actors from the theatre were moving in to help and there were only three bedrooms.  
"Do you mind sharing a room Goof?" Rox asked.  
"Not at all. I have seven brothers and sisters" he replied.  
"Ok we'll you'll be sleeping with me then. " She giggled.

Goofy felt a weird satisfaction. He was finally having fun. He was doing something that made him happy, with someone that genuinely liked him. Nothing could ruin this.


End file.
